Tonight I'm drinking Heineken … hic!
then, I had some others … slurp!
I make a toast to Mom and Dad, … hic!
then to my three brothers. … slurp!

Decide I need Jack, … hiccup 1!
to set me on the road, … hiccup 2!
if I keep going on like this, … hiccup 3!
I’ll be drunker than a toad. … hehehe!

Now I’m propping up the bar … burp!
my winds caught up with me. … burp!
Oh bloody hell, and cross my legs … fart!
I need to go and pee. … burp, fart… whoops!

Stagger to my left, … giggling!
sway to my right, … still giggling!
I think if I fall down, … giggling even more!
I’ll be here for the night. … Nearly … piddling!

There’s a stupid smile upon my face, … grinning!
my hair’s askew and all, … smiling!
Leaning hard against the sink, … squirming!
and trying not to fall. … got it!… ahhhhh!

Oh what sweet relief … oh yes!
now I need a hug … oh yes please!
I got rid of all that beer … oh yes please another!
but forgot to pull the plug! ... joking of course!

T