Joan Leslie Rawson (Nee Godwin) R I P

Joan, I didn’t think your leaving would matter at all.

It’s been so long since we last communicated.

You were always there, in the back of my mind

… a distant someone that I never tried to touch or talk to.

And now I can’t, because you left, I doubt it was voluntary.

The last time you made me cry was just before we separated.

After 30 years together, yeah … I shed some tears.

But last night was different, our son made me cry, but it was your fault.

He told me you had left, and I was totally unprepared for that.

I imagined you always being “there”, not just a memory, but something tangible,

Now …and too late as always … I realise I should have tried to retain your friendship.

I can’t explain this feeling … it’s not like I am going to miss you, it’s just …

a vast emptiness that opened up to absorb the tears Mike and I shed together,

an engagement of images churned from within my shocked brain cells and

damn it - sorrow, loss, confusion, sadness – I can’t explain it?!

However, I have to say goodbye, albeit from a distance.

No kiss on your forehead, no gentle press of your folded hands

I fell out of love, but never disliked you, so from me to you

“Bye for now … Rest in peace sweetheart”

Tony

2015 01 12